The First One

For math geeks:
What's purple and commutes?
An Abelian grape!

Smelly Cat
Wanted Dead or Alive: Shroedinger's Cat!!

Sachin Tendulkar
Commit all your crimes when Sachin is batting because even God's watching.

Taare Zameen Par( with all due respect)
a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac once lay awake all night wondering about the "Existence of Dog"!!

For metallurgy junta
Metallurgists are not hard working, they are work hardened

The shortest mathematical joke:
Let epsilon be smaller than zero

Law
Honesty is the best policy,but insanity is the best defense

Aspirin
A chemist walked into the store and asked the pharmacist :do you have acetylsalicylic acid?
You mean aspirin?" asked the pharmacist.
"That's it, I can never remember that word."

If Neo were a mathematician
He could have as well inverted the matrix and premultiplied it with itself to obtain his identity.

Transitivity
A (narrating an incident about a girl to his friend B):Ya there's this friend of mine-B:ooooh
A: arre its not that! She's a friend of my sister
B:Ya right, and by transitivity....

IITian's Law of the Uncertainty:
Beauty*Brains < C Special to General Relativity:
Albert Einstein once thought that if he drove a car faster, he would age slower and hence live a longer life.He met with an accident.